Saturday, October 9, 2010

Family Away from Home (Oct. 2)

When I think of family, I think of the mother who pushed me out into this world, the father who raised me and provided for me, the siblings who fought, loved, and looked out for me, and the grandparents who spoiled me. Of course there’s the extended family like the uncles who disciplined me for my bad behavior, the aunts who mothered me when my mother wasn’t around, and the cousins who kept me company at family gatherings and would play with me since I was one of the youngest. But I didn’t comprehend that family could be more than just blood lineage.

I’d always hear about “the family” at the church, and didn’t really appreciate it until recently when their actions spoke louder than their words. I could always (and still can) count on my brothers and sisters because they have prayed for me through my trailing moments as well as for my praises in life. They’ve never turned their back on me even when I’ve done so on them… they’ve shown me mercy when I’ve deserved it the least and for that, I am grateful to have such a family.

(from L to R. Vetalik, his wife Anya, my mama, her grandson Sasha and the other sister in law Marina)

Then there are my “sisters” in the sorority. During our pledging stage, we all surprisingly became close for reasons that will go unsaid, but the point is we were there for each other through the good and the bad. Granted, I can’t say that I have the same close relationship with each one because even blood sisters don’t always get along. But in a way, I have created a close and tight family with a few of my sorority sisters and those who are a part of it can reciprocate the love and affection I have for them.

In this new chapter of my life, I have adopted yet another family, but this one is the one I didn’t expect much from and have gotten quite the opposite. Mama Valentina is a retired woman who used to make/inspect parts for rockets that were shipped to Moscow… or at least that’s what we understood. That reminded me of my dad’s career inspecting aircraft parts for Boeing. What a nice connection. Now, Valentina works at home milking the cow, feeding the pigs, rabbits, ducks and chickens, harvesting potatoes, pumpkins and peppers, and still going into the city to sell the milk from that day’s squeeze. I don’t see much of my tato, I think he works in the city but haven’t figured out what it is he does. All I know is he’s in bed by the time I come downstairs for dinner at 7pm. What I learn about mama Valentina is that she enjoys listening to pop music, which I think is the funniest thing when we’re eating dinner and I hear Britney Spears, Ricky Martin and Ace of Base playing on the radio.



Just like they (P.C.) have warned us, the personal questions take over the dinner table, but I am not shy to answer them since it’s only her and I enjoying the moment. She asks if I have a boyfriend and why not if I’m very pretty. She tells me my host brother Sasha has a very attractive friend, 30 years old, good job and single…. How do I respond to this? Laughter fills the room. I know I’ve talked to guys and relationships with my real mom and I think that’s the connection I begin to have with mama Valentina. Such a subject is personal and can’t be talked about with just anyone, or least that’s how I feel. Yet the way mama Valentina worries for me when I don’t come home at the time I tell her (and starts blowing up my phone), or telling me about her life and family, allowing me to experience her life by helping out with tasks around the house…. She feels like a real mama and I appreciate her even more. She tells me she wants to meet all my friends, not just the ones from my cluster; that she will teach me how to prepare a Ukrainian meal so that I can invite them over and let her into my life by making her feel a part of it. It’s hard for me to let people in, but there’s something about her genuine character and her motherly care that allows me to do so in the way that I can… pictures, stories, laughter.

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear you're having normal Mother/Daughter conversations about boys. So speaking of boys...have you met the guy she was talking about? Just give him a chance!!! LOL...u got 2 years to think about it. Miss You!

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